Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride…
” A Happy Bridesmaid is a Happy Bride”
– Lord Alfred Tennyson
I have been to a lot of weddings. Come to think of it I can say that because of my involvement with a ministry for single men and women I have been to close to a hundred weddings.
This blog seeks to discuss those who occupy supporting roles in weddings – the bridesmaids.
Quite often, a lot of us look at the bridesmaids expectantly. We have great expectations that they are going to be the next brides. With what they wear (beautiful or not) for sure they can easily catch the eye of a searching bachelor. But from my circle of friends, I have seen some become bridesmaids for 17 to 20 times but have remained unmarried. Alas, the saying “always a bridesmaid, never a bride” has become frustratingly real in their lives. Do a quick count. For the married readers of this blog, especially to those couples who has been married for the past 5 years at the least. How many of your own bridesmaids are married now?
Women ask, “When will my time be?”. This I have heard from a lot of my friends. See, I got married at the age of 27 and my wife was only 24 then. So for a good number of years, most of our close friends have remained unmarried up until they were 30 or so years old. On discussions over dinners, they ask you hypothetical questions as to when they’ll end up marrying or when their boyfriend is will propose. I always answer with a joke so as not to further frustrate them. I do remember a close friend asking me this, “What age do you see me walking down the aisle?” Without giving it much thought I blurted, “Probably when you’re 35”. She was 21 years old then. She is now 30 years old and has never been in a relationship. Every time we talk about relationships, she tells me that I placed a curse on her. What gives?
The Bible says that:
“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.” – Ecclesiastes 3. 1-8.
And yes, I believe that there is a season for you to get married, maybe now is not the time. But we also have to remember that not all of us are called for marriage. Some are called to do other things.
A soon to be saint once said;
“The truth is that each and every person has been called into existence for a reason. We have all been created out of love and for a loving purpose. God has a special plan for each one of us.” – Cardinal Newman
To further look at it, consider that following your vocation is a journey towards God. That journey is full of different experiences. Like on many journeys, we each have to read the signs and make choices about which way to go. These choices affect the outcome of our lives. God does not predetermine the journey we make; rather he gives us freewill – an ability to choose one way or another.
There you have it friends. All called for a special purpose. So to all the perennial bridesmaids out there, your time will come. I just hope you really get to ask the Lord if this is where He wants you to be.
Something to think and pray about today: Where do you want me to be today Lord?
Something to make you smile: Quote of the day
“A perfect wife is one who helps the husband with the dishes.”